Matthew 5:31-32 "Divorce"

Marc Transparenti
Calvary Chapel Lake City
Matthew • Sermon • Submitted 3 years ago • Presented 4 years ago • 52:47
Matthew 5:31–32
Divorce
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The Sermon on the Mount: Divorce
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Good Morning Church Family! Please open your Bibles to Matt 5. We are continuing through our chapter-by-chapter, verse-by-verse study through the Gospel of Matthew. Presently, we looking at the Sermon on the Mount, the Sermon of the King. 

Jesus is addressing His disciples about various ways that are to be as kingdom citizens. He came to fulfill the law, thus we are to do and teach the law...but accurately...not like the religious leaders who either added to or took away from the laws true intent...the law was a tutor- it provided discipline and pointed us to Christ. But, the religious leaders twisted the law, and established a self-righteous system, where they taught they would be right with God by their works. Many religions still incorrectly teach this today. But, the truth is we are only right with God by faith. Eph 2:8-9 tells us "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast."

Last week, we looked at a section of Jesus' sermon where He began to clarify the true intent of the law by examining the Sixth and Seventh commandments- the Laws on Murder and Adultery. The deeper intent was any unrighteous anger or lust even in the heart, even without physically murdering or physically engaging in the act of adultery broke the intent of the law. 

Today, we continue looking at one more common teaching to the people of Jesus' day- the teaching on Divorce. Jesus will say "...it has been said..." as the Rabbis taught on this topic...though not entirely accurately. Thus, Jesus will say, "But I say to you..." clarifying the heart of the law with all the authority He has as the Son of God. Today's teaching will be very practical, and my hope is that even if you have never been divorced, today's teaching will help you to better understand what the Bible says about divorce, so that you will be more effective in ministering to and loving people who have been divorced. 

Let's pray and then we will get into the word. Today's message is entitled "Divorce."

Matt 5:31-32 "Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery."

Last week, Jesus spoke on adultery and now He addresses a natural consequence that flows from adultery- divorce. Divorce was and still is a huge topic in life, in society, for believers and unbelievers alike. We are going to spend some time looking at this topic from multiple angles today. 
Looking at the 2020 CDC website and census data, I saw that about 38% of marriages today in 2020 end in divorce. Over the past 10 years, less people have been getting divorced, and while I want to be optimistic about those figures...data also shows less people are getting married, and cohabitation stats are on the rise (which is a different sin issue), so I don't think our overall societal health from a marital standpoint is great. Many people, especially under the age of 24, are forsaking the marriage covenant, and are just shacking up. 
The Rabbi's in Jesus' day also had issues. They taught "Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce." We will talk further about this, but the issue was the popular teaching promoted divorce for almost any reason...you just had to provide a written divorce decree. Actually, not too different from today...if you have "irreconcilable differences" you are permitted to divorce by the secular laws of the land. 
In response to the Rabbi's teachings, Jesus clarifies, and gives the true intent God had for divorce in verse 32. 
As you search the scriptures regarding divorce, you will find scripture tells us of God's original design for marriage, God's feeling about divorce, the preference of reconciliation over divorce, reasons for divorce, and rules for re-marriage. So, let's take a moment to examine these five topics. 
First, Divorce was never God's original design. God intended for man and woman to be married faithfully until death. 
In Matt 19:3-6 it states "The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" 4 And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' [quoting Gen 1:27] 5 and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? [quoting Gen 2:24] 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
So, clearly we can see from scripture that God's original design for marriage is male and female coming together, and God's original design for marriage did not include divorce.. "...what God has joined together, let not man separate."
Here's the rub to those who want to re-define marriage...Since God designed marriage, God can define marriage. But, that's a different sermon. Back to divorce. 
God designed marriage without divorce, and this is further supported by His feelings on divorce...our second topic today. Turn to Mal 2 (Malachi is easy to find...it's the last book in the OT; just right before Matthew).
Mal 2:16 is a commonly quoted verse about God's feelings on divorce, which is clear...God hates...He detests divorce. Mal 2:16 "For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one's garment with violence..."
There is major fallout following divorce. Scripture states divorce causes violence to marriage (violence could also be rendered as "wrong" or "injustice."). There is emotional trauma, wreckage in relationships (especially when children are involved), financial disputes, ugly attitudes and words, and some even blame God and fall away from Him...all kinds of violence (physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, relational). 
One scholar stated, "A man's covering himself ... with his garment symbolizes marriage (cf. Ruth 3:9; Ezek. 16:8). But covering himself with violence describes violating the marriage relationship, which is what divorce does."
Now if you back up to verse 13 in Mal 2, we get more information as to why God hates divorce. 
Mal 2:13-15 "And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, With weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. 14 Yet you say, "For what reason?" [So, here we have the picture of a man weeping as he realizes God is unwilling to accept his offering...which means he is separated from God...and Why?] Because the Lord has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously [or been faithless or unfaithful]; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. [Marriage is a covenant] 15 But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth." Mal 2:13-15.
From this verse we can see that marriage is a covenant, and when this husband was unfaithful to his wife, he mourned when he realized God no longer accepted his offering because he broke his covenant...because he was unfaithful to his wife. What a huge statement on how serious God is about the marriage covenant! And, we also see that God designed marriage for the result of godly offspring...a holy people. When you remain married and raise your kids unto the Lord...godly offspring is the result...which is part of God's will for your life. 
Mal 2:14 states marriage is a covenant. Most people have vows such as "I _____take you _____to be my wife (or husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part." 
It's a covenant- an agreement between two parties...both make promises under the oath of God. It's not a contract, it's a covenant, and a covenant is supposed to be an unbreakable commitment. Divorce is breaking a covenant.
Marriage is a picture of the covenant that God has with His people. God refers to our relationship with Him as a marriage. We, Christians today...the Church, are called the Bride of Christ (2 Cor 11:2; Rev 19:7-9). Faithfulness to God and faithfulness to our spouse is crucially important in the eyes of God. How can one be faithful to God, who is unseen, if they cannot be faithful to their spouse, who is seen?
Mal 2:11 tells us idolatry, which is spiritual adultery, is an abomination... "Judah has dealt treacherously, And an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem, For Judah has profaned The Lord's holy institution which He loves: He has married the daughter of a foreign god." Judah was supposed to be dedicated wholly to Yehovah, but was unfaithful. That's idolatry! That's spiritual adultery. 
Jer 13:27 also speaks of adultery as an abomination..."I have seen your adulteries And your lustful neighings, The lewdness of your harlotry, Your abominations on the hills in the fields. Woe to you, O Jerusalem! Will you still not be made clean?" 
"Will you still not be made clean?"... What a great segue into our next topic- reconciliation...our 3rd topic in looking at divorce. 
Scripture tells us reconciliation, or even remaining unmarried, is preferred over divorce. 
In 1 Cor 7:10-11 Paul writes "Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife."
Departing, or separating from, was a commonly used term for divorce, and both terms (separation and divorce) in these verses are forbidden. Scripture instructs...remain unmarried or be reconciled. 
I love Strong's definition of Reconciled- katallassō in Gk. "to change mutually." It's the idea of two people who have a difference, both humble themselves and agree to change something personally in order to move forward together. Other definitions are ""to change from enmity to friendship" or "return to favour with." 
We see this same word used often in the context of what Jesus did to bring us into relationship with the Father. Rom 5:10 tells us "For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life."
If we were enemies with God, and we were able to be reconciled to Him through Jesus, well, there is hope for even the most hostile of marriages, so long as they are willing "to change mutually" to be reconciled. This is God's preference. 
If you are in a hostile marriage today, know that scripture esteems a humble reconciliation process high above divorce. 
In Isa 50:1 and Jer 3:8, God, through His prophets, declares he issued Israel a certificate of divorce. 
Isa 50:1 states "Where is the certificate of your mother's divorce, Whom I have put away?"
Jer 3:8 states "Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce..."
Now, God did not divorce Israel for some flimsy reason...it was due to habitual marital unfaithfulness, which is one of the reasons God permits divorce. Repeatedly, not just once, Israel played the harlot and worshipped other God's. God was painstakingly patient and forgiving, but had all legal right to divorce Israel. 
In light of reconciliation, 5x total in Jer 3 God declares to Israel "Return to Me." 3x God declares "Return" after verse 8 where He issues the certificate of divorce! 
As a side-note, when you compare Jer 3 to Deut 24:1-4, it is difficult to reconcile. Jer 3:1 poses the question, 'If a man divorces his wife, And she goes from him And becomes another man's, May he return to her again?' According to Deut 24:1-4 the answer is 'No'...a man who divorced his wife could not later remarry her. 
After God divorced Israel, according to the law, she could not be accepted back...there was no hope for reconciliation. 
Yet, God declares in Jer 3:12 "'Return, faithless Israel,' declares the LORD; 'I will not look upon you in anger. For I am gracious,' declares the LORD; 'I will not be angry forever."
How can this be? And, I ask this question without a clear answer. Rabbi Tovia Singer (who is very outspoken against missionary efforts to Jews) says Jeremiah is speaking parabolically...not literally. That God did not literally divorce Israel, but this is the parable of the "divorced wife." If that's the case, this is unlike any parable I have read, and I guess this would also mean Isa 50:1 is a parable as well? 
Another author I read, who likely subscribes to Replacement theology, stated God divorcing Israel was literal and final, and this opened the door for Christ to marry the Church. That's a dangerous view as well. 
I don't agree with either standpoint. And, I am not too proud to admit that I have not yet fully reconciled this in my brain, but know there is no contradiction. 
What I can gather is that God's mercy, compassion is beyond my scope of comprehension; and He will make a way for Israel to be reconciled without violating His own law. 
If you have some other insights, let me know. Iron sharpens iron. 
One last point on reconciliation before we move on...
The Book of Hosea is a great example of reconciliation. Hosea's marriage to a prostitute is symbolic of Israel's continual turning to false gods. Yet, God's love is unwavering. God remains commited to His covenant people, as she is unfaithful. 
Hos 3:1 states, "Then the Lord said to me, "Go again, love a woman who is loved by a lover and is committing adultery, just like the love of the Lord for the children of Israel, who look to other gods."
In a world without sin, adultery would not occur and thus divorce would not need to be permitted. But, even still God demonstrates even in the case of Israel, who is compared to a prostitute for her unfaithfulness, God still, in His grace, seeks reconciliation. 
And, if you read the promises of reconciliation and restoration in Jer 3, in Hosea 1 and many other places, it is obvious that Israel will return to God, and God has a plan and many good promises for Israel still yet to come. 
So, God demonstrates reconciliation is preferred over divorce, God expresses He hates divorce, and God teaches the original design for marriage did not include divorce, but despite all of that, God indeed permitted divorce, our 4th topic on divorce. God permitted divorce for just two reasons- the first is uncleanness or sexual immorality -and- the second...abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. 
The first reason is uncleanness. Deut 24:1 states "When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce..." and then the verses continue with instructions on divorce...
Uncleanness is defined as nudity or nakedness, but this word could also be defined as shame or unclean. Over 50x nakedness is used as the translation and only a handful of times shame or unclean is used. Many scholars would take the translation of uncleaness here to describe a promiscuous and illicit situation, but there are those who have a more liberal definition. 
Two of the most influential Rabbis of Jesus' day, Shammai (conservative) and Hillel (liberal) landed on opposite sides of what "uncleanness" meant. 
Shammai held that divorce was only permissible upon a serious marital transgression that involved a promiscuous situation, such as adultery.
Hillel permitted divorce for numerous causes where a wife was displeasing to her husband, even trivial reasons such as she "burned his food." 
And, we may look back on this as ridiculous, especially Hillel's position, but the church is also divided between conservative and liberal views? Especially regarding homosexuality. 
What compounds the confusion is the penalty for uncleanness. In Deut 24, a certificate of divorce is the consequence. In Lev 20:10, adultery, not uncleanness, is specifically listed as the offense and the penalty is death...for both the man and the woman. And Lev 20, also lists a number of other scenarios, incest, homosexuality, bestiality, etc. all requiring a death penalty. So, is uncleanness and adultery on the same level? I lean conservative, but I think we can see why there is a debate. 
What helps us greatly in our interpretation of "uncleanness" is Matt 19, when the Pharisees came and tested Jesus, "They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" 8 He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." Matt 19:7-9 
Three interesting observations:
First, "from the beginning it was not so"...we mentioned this earlier, but God's original design for marriage did not include divorce.
Second, The people's hearts were hard. Historically, divorce was already happening, despite divorce being outside God's design. "Hardness of heart"... interesting word in Gk. sklērŏkardia, sklēros, "hardness," (Eng. "sclerosis"); kardia "heart" (Eng. "cardiac"). In their hard heartedness, they chose divorce over investing in their marriage -or- reconciling their marriage, so God gave permission for divorce. God did not change His view on divorce, but gave permission for divorce to limit man's sin. 
Third, Jesus clarifies that sexual immorality is the exception clause for divorce, which helps our interpretation with the word "uncleanness" in Deut 24, or does it? In Matthew 19, the Gk. word for sexual immorality is pŏrnĕia def. harlotry (includ. adultery, incest, and fornication); fig. idolatry. So, again the scholars debate? What is sexual immorality? 
Various view on pŏrnĕia include: a) adultery, b) An offense specific to the Jewish betrothal period, c) a prohibition against illegitimate marriages amongst relatives (incest) as in Lev 18. And, d) a habitual and unrepentant lifestyle of marital unfaithfulness (which is different than a one-time act of infidelity). 
Porneia is a broad term...broader than the term for adultery. Most Pastors I listen to lean towards this last definition (unrepentant lifestyle of marital unfaithfulness) and a modern application could extend to a person who is persistently unfaithful to their spouse either physically with other people, or even in fantasy as in the modern application of the word porneia...pornography. 
For simplicity, I would encourage you to just ask, "Am I being faithful to my spouse?" Remember Jesus said, "...whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Does lust for other people that you are not married to reign in your heart? Do you have intent to live a a persistent world of fantasy, or intend to engage in a physical relationship with a person you are not married to? Keep it simple. Many people look for loopholes in the simplicity of scripture because they want to justify their sin. Don't do that. 
Long explanation, but lot's of debate over the first reason for divorce which again is, uncleanness or sexual immorality. 
The second reason for divorce is abandonment specifically by an unbelieving spouse. 
1 Cor 7:12-15 states "If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases."
"Departs" in Gk is chōrizō kho-rid´-zo (same spelling a chorizo- that yummy Spanish pork sausage, but that's not what Scripture has in mind here)...in Gk. chōrizō means "to place room between, to part, to go away." So, physical abandonment is definitely in light here. 
Some raise the question about emotional abandonment, and look, there are a number of difficult marital situations not specifically addressed in scripture. This is where spiritual counsel, discernment, history of reconciliation attempts, effort, and an honest heart all play into knowing how to proceed. 
In this scenario, there is a believing spouse and an unbelieving spouse. Perhaps both were not saved, and then one became a believer in the course of their marriage. It happens. In this situation, you should remain married... scripture declares you sanctify the spouse and children. Many times the unbelieving spouse also comes to the the Lord through prayer and the loving example of their spouse. 
What should not happen is if you are a believer, and you decide to marry an unbeliever. This should not happen. 2 Cor 6:14 tells us "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers." 
The yoke was a farming tool where two oxen would be linked and share in the pulling of a plow. In marriage, you are yoked together with your spouse and share in the pulling of life, the pulling of the family, the pulling of responsibilities. How difficult is it if you mind and heart is set on Christ and your spouses is not? You want to raise your kids Christian, and they don't. They don't even believe. You tell your kids about Jesus, and then they counter with some alternative explanation on life, eternity, or maybe they completely negate an afterlife altogether. Don't marry an unbeliever. It will cause you great trouble in life. For my kids, when they start dating, the quality of a the person they are dating will first be measured by their walk with Christ, and I will never approve of them dating an unbeliever, because of what scripture states here. 
So, that's it. Scripture just gives us two reasons for divorce. Uncleanness or Sexual immorality -and- abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. God hates divorce, emphasizes reconciliation, but does permit divorce for these two reasons. 
But, what about if i was abandoned by a believing spouse? I don't know. I need more details. I need to pray, to discern, to understand the broader picture. 
But, what if my spouse is abusive, or a child molester, or addicted to drugs or gambling? There are a hundred difficult situations we could list that by sight make a whole lot of sense to get out of. There's a whole lot of bad scenarios in marriage, and there are many questions to be asked before giving a quick answer of advice on what to do. 
Is the spouse still living wickedly? Do they express a desire to change? Are they repentant? Has the couple sought reconciliation? How have they sought reconciliation? What is the duration and severity of the offense? And, so forth...
Many questions, much discernment. 
And, there are many divorce scenarios that, when compared to what we read in scripture, would be considered sin. There are many people we know and love...and divorce is part of their story. This does not mean we shun them, or ostracize them. We speak truth in love. And, I hope you do that for me. Speak to me in truth and speak to me in love. I'll do the same for you. 
It's important to note that divorce is not the unpardonable sin...the unpardonable sin is the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit (Lk 12:10). Some Christians want to snub those who have been divorced, or committed adultery, or had an abortion, or lived a homosexual lifestyle, or was a drug addict... but scripture speaks about hope for the sinner. 
Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery, "Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said to her, "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more." John 8:10-11 
To the Samaritan women at the well (John 4), Jesus said to her, "You have well said, 'I have no husband,' for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly." Here's a woman five times divorced and living in active sin with a man she is not married to. What did Jesus do? He spoke to her about living water. She said, "I know that Messiah is coming (who is called Christ). "When He comes, He will tell us all things." Jesus said to her, "I who speak to you am He." Jesus revealed Himself to her as Messiah. 
There is indeed hope for the sinner. Ps 103:12 "As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us."
There is nothing you have done or I have done, or anything we can do to separate us from God except for denying Jesus Christ. Jesus paid it all as the old Hymn goes "Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe...Sin had left a crimson stain...He washed it white as snow."
That's what He did for me. That's what He did for you. And our response is "all" ...all to Him I owe. 
Now, don't take God's grace as permission to sin. A person causes much grief in their life subscribing only to grace and dismissing truth. The law of sowing and reaping still exists. 
Gal 6:7-8 "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life."
Will God forgive you of sin? Yes He will...as far as the east is from the west...He will wash it white as snow. 
But, if you sow to the flesh, if you live in sin, there will be consequences in life to deal with. God will forgive divorce, but you may be living with the consequence of divorce for years to come...emotionally, financially, logistically, and so forth.
Just as God's grace and forgiveness is real, so is the law of sowing and reaping. 
The fifth and last topic today on divorce pertains to re-marriage. We observe, at the end of verse 32, "...whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery." (Jesus repeats this statement in Matt 19:9). 
Jesus' statement here is very broad, even broader than Deut 24, where it states a man cannot remarry the woman he formerly divorced, if she remarries and gets divorced again...it would be considered an abomination. That's a very specific situation, but here in Matt, Jesus is saying "whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery." Very broad definition. 
So, if a husband divorces his wife (except in the case of sexual immorality or abandonment by an unbeliever (as we saw in 1 Cor 7)), Scripture is declaring that the innocent party (the wife) is caused or made to commit adultery. It was not her choice to divorce, but assuming she remarries, she would be in sin because God still sees the original couple as married...since the covenant of marriage was broken outside His allowable reasons. 
Further, if the innocent party (the wife) then remarries, the new spouse is also guilty of adultery. 
Wow. Anyone feeling uptight? "Well, I don't like that. That's harsh. That doesn't seem fair." 
Again, here's the rub...since God designed marriage, God can define marriage.
God holds the marital covenant so intense, that He is not willing to accept frivolous reasons for divorce. If you get divorced outside of the "exception clauses" and then you get remarried, God views you in adultery because you broke the marriage covenant outside His prescribed reasons. God hates divorce. 
Now, bear with me because I found a light at the end of this tunnel. And, I will say, on a positive note, I think it is beautiful that God reveres marriage. He is intensely in love with you. We read in Eph 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her..." The church is the bride of Christ, and He loves His bride so intensely that He died for her...He died for you. 
So, here is the light at the end of the tunnel. In 1 Cor 7, Paul addresses married people...that she should not withhold affection from one another (solid advice, but not the light at the end of the tunnel), then starting in verse 7 he states, "For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God..." Paul was single...he was celibate, and is encouraging people to be single so they can be dedicated completely to the Lord, without distraction. (cf. 1 Cor 7:32-35). So, remaining single and wholly dedicated to God, is one option instead of re-marriage. Again, solid advice, but not the light at the end of the tunnel...just part of the context...
Here it is...here is the light, and what has helped me greatly...
1 Cor 7:8-9 Paul declares, "But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am [single]; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
The 'unmarried" in this verse are those who have had sexual experience, as distinguished from virgins beginning in 1 Cor 7:25. 
One scholar from Dallas Theological Seminary wrote, "The unmarried included divorced persons of both sexes... Paul, no armchair theologian, anticipated the practical question of how a person can know whether he or she is able to remain celibate. Paul gave his judgment; if one lacks sexual control, he does not have the gift of celibacy, and should marry."
This is the most freeing verse, the most freeing clause or exception I see to re-marry...if you know you are going to burn with passion. If you are going to struggle and sin because you are not married, then get married. Don't sin. 
And, this verse is also a great guide to the unmarried couple who are living in sexual sin...fornication. First, step is to stop...stop living in sin. Get biblical counseling, and get on the right track to make your relationship right with each other and right with God. As the old adage goes, "Make her an honest woman." Repent, and seek restoration of your relationship on the horizontal with each other, and on the vertical with God. There is hope. 
1 Jn 1:9 states, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 
Don't think you are any less loved if you are living in sexual sin, but...but... what are you doing to make it right? 
If you are in a complex situation, living together not married and you have kids, and separation would cause hardship beyond resources that could lead to destitution...a situation where the cure is worse than the disease...please know there are still solutions. People who love you want to help with Biblical counseling, boundaries, and moving towards marriage. There is hope, but you have to be honest and ask for help. 
If you were married, and are now a widow, scripture is clear you are free to get remarried. 
Rom 7:2-4 states "...the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man."
Now wives, This does not mean to go and knock off your husband. That's a different sin. 6th commandment...murder.
1 Cor 7:39 states, "A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord."
Two verses that clearly permit the widow to get re-married, but with the clause "only in the Lord" meaning marry a Christian...Don't be unequally yoked. 
What if I was divorced prior to becoming a Christian? How does God view me in that scenario?
1 Cor 6:9-11 states "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God."
Prior to salvation, I was guilty of several things on this list. Some of you were as well. If you were divorced for a reason outside God's approved exceptions, and got remarried, you are guilty of adultery, but what does this scripture say??? 
"...you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God." 
That's great news! Those sins are gone. You don't need to carry that burden. You are justified...declared righteous. Your sins are just as if they never happened, and you are right with God. You don't need to carry that burden, because Jesus did it for you. That's why we praise Him. That's why we are here today. 
God indeed hates divorce. But, He doesn't hate you. He loves you, and sent His Son to die for you so you can be washed, and justified, and sanctified. There is hope! Nothing is "...able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Amen? 

Worship team come. 

Divorce is a big and tough topic, but we serve a bigger God. The Bible has a lot to say about Divorce, but so much more about what God said to Israel, "Return to me." Many of us have experienced divorce, if not directly in marriage, by someone in our friend or family circles. And, my prayer today is that you walk out of here more compassionate, and a better minister of the Gospel to those who have been through divorce. 

If you are carrying a burden today. Something we talked about today is weighing you down and you want to get right with God. Step one is being honest. Twice in my life I was freed of sin by taking that step of humbling myself and being honest with another person about what was going on. 

Be honest with yourself. Be honest with God. And, be honest with someone who can Biblically counsel you. The Elders and I are here to pray with you if you want to start that journey today. 

Let's close in prayer. 
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